One thing is for certain: if you are going to work with people and try to lead them, you are going to face opposition. The very nature of leadership is guiding people to an uncertain future, which usually requires change. People by their very nature resist change. Just try changing the time of your worship service or the name of your church and see what happens. Great leaders face great opposition. If they propose bold changes there are always those who will oppose them. If they are passive and inactive, there will be those who accuse them of lacking vision and not leading. In short, a leader can never rely on the affirmation of others if he is to be a godly leader. We all desire to be liked by people, but like the Apostle Paul we need to affirm that “we are not trying to please men, but God, who tests our hearts.” ( I Thessalonians 1:4) If we let what people feel about us drive our leadership style we will be condemned to ride the roller coaster of one day being loved and the next day being hated. I want to share four keys to handling opposition in a godly way. I found these ideas in a book called The Top Ten Leadership Commands, written by Hans Finzel.
- A godly leader accepts the fact that he is called to lead the people God has given to him. As much as one might like to hand pick his followers so as to have those who follow him do so without resistance, it just does not work that way. We are often called to lead people who did not choose us. When Moses was called to lead the children of Israel their response was, “Who made you ruler and judge over us?” (Ex. 2:14) We too will find the same attitudes among those who will challenge our leadership. Sometimes it is a matter of sheer rebellion against God’s anointed, or as simple as bad relational chemistry that might exist between us and those we are called to lead.
- A godly leader will not allow a few resisters dictate God’s agenda for the majority. Here is where it is very important to understand the make up of your followers. In most churches you will find a small group of those who think the pastor can do no wrong and they are excited to follow him as he brings changes to the ministry. This group often consists of about 15 % of the church. Now there is a second group, which is the silent majority who often take a wait and see approach. They are waiting to see how the pastor will do and where his leadership will lead them. With time this group will usually come alongside of the pastor and become faithful followers. This group is made up of about 70% of the church. Now there is a third group of about 15 % who are against everything the pastor tries. They do not like the pastor and think his ideas are dangerous. Sometimes that is because they do not have a spiritual view of things and depend on worldly values, or it may be they just don’t get along with the pastor. This group can hold a whole church hostage and prevent it from moving forward in new ministry, so it is critical that a godly leader does not let that happen, but continues to share his vision with those who are excited to serve with him and to win the hearts of the silent majority.
- A godly leader respects his opposition and seeks to be reconciled to them. Those who oppose the pastor do so in a variety of ways. They may be supportive to his face but behind the scenes are resisting him and his ideas. They may speak up boldly against him in rebellion against his leadership. There are a variety of ways they may show disrespect to the pastor: by gossiping about him, having side meetings with others who are also unhappy, spreading rumors, or disqualifying him by attacking his character and abilities. It is vital to the leader’s witness not to respond sinfully to the sinful actions of others. Too often, I have seen leaders lose control of themselves when they have been disrespected and react in a sinful way towards others. A mark of maturity would be to return good for evil. “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” But rather, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live in peace with everybody.” (Romans 12:17-18) It is wise to not distance yourself from those who oppose you but to go humbly to them and seek to understand their perspective by listening to them and learn from them. You may just win them over.
- A godly leader knows how to defuse those who are attacking him. There is much great wisdom in this matter in Proverbs, and I believe a mature leader not only knows what the Bible teaches on this matter but is learning to practice it. Before, I listed a few of the key ways to defuse those who oppose you; however, I want to share the conviction that in every criticism there is some truth to be found. Most of the time we are so quick to be offended by anyone who dares to find fault with us that we miss it. This leads to the best way to defuse a critic: by admitting that they have a point and you would like to talk to them more about it. What you are doing is saying let’s attack the problem, not each other. Here are a few Biblical ways to defuse an attack: (List compiled by Ken Williams)
- Remain silent; do not come to your own defense (Proverbs 17:27-28)
- Think carefully before you react-don’t react emotionally (James 1:19-20)
- Be sure you are really listening to the other person and not rushing to your own conclusion. (Proverbs 18:2-23)
- Respond gently, not in anger (Proverbs 15:1, 16:21, 25:15)
- Agree with your attacker as much as you can on what is true. (Matthew 5:25)
- Ask for more clarification and information (Proverbs 15:1)
- Avoid quarreling and useless arguments (Ephesians 4:31)
- Offer to help solve the problem (Matthew 5:40-41)
- Ask for forgiveness if appropriate (I Samuel 15:24-30)